Broken Up Blaine
by ashkamor
Summary: Ok, this is a Klaine fic I wrote post 4:4. SPOILER ALERT. Blaine is severally depressed and angry with himself because of what he did to Kurt. Meanwhile, Kurt is also really upset about the breakup angst :) Also, Eli C. is a total asshole, so be warned
1. Chapter 1 (Pilot)

Stupid.

Stupid, stupid, _stupid._

_Why_ couldn't he _ever _do _anything_ right?

Just _once_, dammit. _Once, _he would like to have something good in his life that he didn't just _wreck._ He punched the sandbag so hard the chain rattled against the ceiling and he had to move to prevent it from slamming him in the face on the way back down. Every time. Every _single _time something good finally happened in his life, he ruined it.

When he finally got some friends at high school? His jealous girl friend Ashley outed him to the entire grade and he sank right back down to the bottom of the social hierarchy.

When he actually got his father's approval and belief in his masculinity? A group of jocks cornered him and his friend Andrew and beat them bloody.

And now, when he'd finally found the perfect boyfriend in one Kurt Hummel? A boyfriend who actually loved him unconditionally and was the perfect match for every single aspect of Blaine's being. Well, he had to screw it all up by making out with _Eli freaking Cortelli._ Of all the people he could have exchanged spit with. It just _had _to be Eli. And by sheer virtue of the fact that he had been online in the time if question.

_Stupid._

He hit the bag again and it flew up, nearly crashing into the ceiling. He never did _anything _right, and now he had managed to ruin the single best thing that had ever happened to him. Why did he have to be such a disgusting human being? Why couldn't he be gentle, like Kurt? Or maybe talented, like Cooper. Hell, he would even settle for hot, like Sam. Any of those things, and he could change how people saw him. But he wasn't any of those things. He was just Blaine. And no one ever wanted just Blaine.

He turned abruptly, and left the deserted boxing gym, heading for the showers. He wished he could just cease to exist. Better yet, he wished he had never been born. He didn't deserve all the amazing friends he had. He didn't deserve Cooper, or his parents. And he sure as hell didn't deserve Kurt.

He stepped into a stall and turned the hot water knob all the way, hissing a little as the scalding water touched his skin. He couldn't believe how low he'd sunk. He had no one. Not his parents, who hadn't exchanged more than a few words with him in months. Not the Warblers, who had wanted nothing to do with him since the rock salt incident. Not his new Mckinley friends, who would undoubtably never speak to him again once they heard about what he'd done to Kurt. And as for the man himself… God, Kurt. Kurt would never look his way for the rest of eternity. Kurt would probably replace him with some new, sexy, fabulous New York guy. The kind of guy Kurt deserved. Not Blaine.

Blaine rubbed shampoo into his silky locks with vigor, massaging the substance like it was the last time he would ever be able to use it. He couldn't believe that he'd managed to mess up his entire life. _Again. _He was alone. _Again._ And he would be, for the rest of his life. He was complete, total failure. No one cared about him, and rightly so. He was nothing, absolutely nothing.

He always had been, and he always would be.


	2. Chapter 2

Monday.

Mckinley was unusually quite as Blaine strode down the hall. Brittany, Tina, Sugar. Each shot him an accusing glare of their own as he passed them on his way to first period English. Everybody knew, and although Kurt had not been much loved among the popular crowd at Mckinley, he had left a legacy, and cheating was always frowned upon.

"Nice." Kitty shifted into Blaine's line of vision.

"I heard that you're done with your boytoy."

"Leave me alone, Kitty. This is none of your business" Blaine pushed past the Cheerio and attempted to rush onward to class, but Kitty stepped back in front of him.

"Actually, it is my business. It's everyone's business, or didn't you know? It's all everyone's talking about. How you and your so-called soul-mate split over a one night stand. Tell me, Blaine, couldn't you control yourself? I heard that you had only two weeks to go, too. Such a shame." Tears sprang into Blaine's eyes at the mention of Kurt's name, but he stopped them before they began to flow. No. He couldn't cry. Not now, in front of Kitty. He schooled his face into an expressionless mask and smiled bitterly.

"But of course, Kitty. You of all people would know how wonderful one night stands can be." With that, Blaine shoved past the younger girl and walked quickly to English, a class which thankfully did not contain any of his fellow glee clubbers.

The hours passed in a blur of lecturing teachers and whispering classmates. Blaine sat in the corner during every class and ignored his surroundings, choosing instead to wallow deep in his own misery. Lunchtime came around and Blaine ate in his car, listening to his recording or Kurt singing _Blackbird_ on repeat, remembering that week and how amazing it had been.

_"There is a moment, Kurt... A moment where you say 'Oh! There you are! I've been looking for you forever' watching you do Blackbird this week... That was the moment for me, about you."_

The first kiss they shared... Singing together at Regionals... God, he missed him. Kurt was his everything, his North, his South, his East and his West. He was nothing without him. Tears streamed down Blaine's face as the bell for Eighth period rang. He needed to get himself under control. He needed to go to class-no, class wasn't an option right now. He needed to go to the nurse and plead a headache. He was such a model student, a good boy. They had to let him rest for the period, despite the rumors that they may or may not have heard. He would go rest, yes, he would spend the forty minute period lying on a cot, waiting and dreading the last period of the day. For ninth period was glee club.

_Tick. Tick. Tick._ The clock on the wall of the boy's side of the rest area taunted him, ticking it's way ever closer to 2:20. _Tick. Tick. Tick._ Ten minutes to go. He couldn't face the glee club. He just couldn't. The very idea made him feel faintly nauseous. But he had to. He had no choice. If he skipped out on glee today, it would only be worse when he finally faced them tomorrow. Three minutes. Blaine's heart began to race, and his mind grew panicked with the swelling fear in the pit of his stomach. The bell rang with a shrill finality, sounding faintly ominous to Blaine's fear-fogged consciousness. He would go. He would just get into his car and drive home, where he could cry into his pillow to his heart's content. But his feet led him instead down the music hallway, towards the cheerful racket coming from the choir room. Fear surged through his veins as he pushed the heavy door open and shuffled inside, eyes on his shoes. A sudden hush feel on the room, and Blaine could feel everyone's eyes on him. He walked slowly towards his seat, heart beating like a drum, when he was suddenly stopped by a large object in his way.

He had walked right into Finn.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, my sexy readers.**  
**Did I ever tell you I love you?**  
**Cause I do. SOO MUCH GAH.**  
**Thanks for the PM's and the reads.**  
**And thanks for taking time to read what I write.**  
**You rock :)**  
**On another note, I would lie to draw your attention to something- I'm bisexual, and as such, support gay rights, even though I could fake being straight, but that's no fun.**  
**Basically, I've been designing T-Shirts on for rights. All proceeds go to the it gets better project.**  
**So please go check it out at /dorkymerch**  
**And now, for chapter three :)**

Kurt lay facedown on his mattress, tears soaking from his gritty eyes into the fabric of his pillowcase. The world had shifted. What had previously been concrete and certain was now unsure and risky. Nothing was to be taken for granted.

Blaine.

Oh, god. Blaine. He'd been with someone else. He'd kissed someone else, maybe even slept with someone else. He'd betrayed Kurt. Completely and utterly betrayed him.  
God, how could he have been so stupid? How could he believe that a wonderful, talented, _hot_guy like Blaine would ever be interested in him? How could he believe that Blaine had cared? How could he have allowed himself to trust once more, when all his instincts had been screaming at him that it would never work? He should have gone with his gut. He should have acknowledged that deep down, he knew that no one would ever see him in a romantic way. All his past experiences spoke against it, everything he knew told him that it wasn't real, that it was too good to be true. But he went with it. And why? Because Blaine had never been remotely close to Kurt's past interests. Blaine had been amazing. He had been sweet, and kind, and trustworthy, and… There. He had been there, when no one else ever had been before. He had been all that Kurt ever wanted.

* * *

_Moonlight shone through the window of the Dalton dorm room as Kurt sat on the bed, knees hugged up against his chest, watching his father's Jeep pull out from the parking lot below. He gazed around his small single room, eyes resting on the cell phone resting on his desk, which was still buzzing due to text messages from his friends at Mckinley, who wanted to know why he hadn't attended school that day. How was he supposed to tell them that he'd chickened out? That he'd ruined everything and been horribly selfish? That he'd abandoned New Directions and his friends, and that he'd taken his father's honeymoon savings in order to go to the posh boarding school in Westerville? Kurt sighed. Nothing he did was ever adequate. He was simply a failure as a person. Couldn't stand up for himself, couldn't defend himself. Couldn't just be normal like everyone else. Why, he wondered, did he even have friends at all?_

_"Moping, are we?" Blaine poked his head into the room with a smile that faded a little when he saw the look on Kurt's face._

_"Come downstairs to the common room, we're throwing you a welcome party!" Kurt felt the urge to roll his eyes at Blaine's enthusiasm. Oh, well. He supposed moping could wait for later. Time to resume the mask that was all the outside world ever saw._

_"Sure," Kurt smiled up at his friend, taking the hand that Blaine was offering him._

_"Let's party."_

* * *

"Kurt!" Rachel yelled as she clomped into the apartment in her high-heeled boots.

"Kurt! Come on, you need to get up! You haven't moved since they left this morning, and I won't let you wallow in self-pity any longer." The girl grasped Kurt's hand and pulled him into an upright position, frowning at his tear-stained face.

"Get up and get showered. We're going to Lima," she said flatly, the effect somewhat ruined by the open concern on her face for her friend.

"Kurt," she said more gently, when he didn't move.

"Kurt, I need to go there. I need to talk to Finn, and I need to finish this madness. And please, I need you with me." Kurt raised his eyes and acknowledged his friend at this, heaving a long sigh and he slowly rose out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind him. Rachel was his friend, and she needed him. Therefore, he would go, despite his enormous dread of facing a certain ex boyfriend in the choir room, which he knew he would be forced to visit.  
Kurt shuts the bathroom door quietly behind him and turns to face the shower, undressing slowly and finally stepping under the warm spray where he washes off the last physical traces of his pain. No more tear tracks on his face. No more grit in his eyes. No traces of his lips left on Kurts from that last kiss in the doorway. He finishes washing himself and steps out onto the bath mat, wrapping a towel around his waist and gazing at himself in the full length mirror on the wall. Nothing about him indicates his relationship with Blaine. The promise ring he'd treasured so much was in the trash, torn apart in ironic similarity to the promise it was supposed to represent. The matching bracelets he'd gotten Blaine and himself on Blaine's birthday, that unique design of the two intertwined strands, one hazel and one blue to represent their eye color, with the heart charm that said_ K&B_on the back in fancy lettering that he'd worked on for hours to engrave by hand, well, that was where it had fallen between his bed and the wall where he'd thrown it last night. To an outsider, he might appear to be completely alright, if it weren't for his eyes. Those blue eyes flecked with yellow that Blaine had spent so long admiring… Those seemed lost in a deep sea of pain. Kurt's eyes seemed dull and lifeless. Only through them could it be seen how he truly felt about Blaine.

* * *

The plane sped up the runway, lifting off the ground and beginning to rise steadily into the air. Kurt gazed out of the window at New York City, which was receding quickly below them. Stars lit up the evening outside, seemingly close enough to touch. Rachel leaned over Kurt's shoulder to look outside as well.  
"I wonder which one is mine…" She speculated, thinking of the star that Finn had given her for Christmas the previous year. She sighed, looking at her friend. How was it that things had gotten to this point? How could Blaine have done that to Kurt? Everything was falling apart. Events weren't going as planned. Finn should be training to be an actor in New York. Kurt should be studying at NYADA with her, still happily committed to Blaine. As for Blaine… Well, she didn't know exactly what she expected Blaine to do. Certainly cheating on Kurt shouldn't have been part of his schedule though.

The intercom crackled as a voice filtered through the speakers embedded in the ceiling.  
"Hello, this is your Captain speaking. We have successfully taken off from JFK airport in New York city, and should be arriving in Ohio in under two hours. On behalf of myself and the crew, I hope you enjoy your flight."

Kurt stared at the lights in the city below. Two hours. Just two hours until he would be landing in Ohio and driving home for the first time in two months. Two hours before he would have to knock on his father's door, arriving unannounced, looking like he was. Two hours. He hoped it would pass slowly. He reached into the pocket of his jacket and retrieved his iPod from where it sat nestled among chapstick and a few pens. He swiped the screen open, feeling a pang in his chest when he saw his backround picture—him and Blaine at his senior prom. Blaine's curls frizzed wildly around his head, and his hands clutched at Kurt as they sat atop the plastic dinosaur together, obviously caught laughing as the photographer snapped the picture. he quickly opened the music application and set it to play his relaxation playlist, relaxing back in his seat to wait out the flight. He knew the first song, it was 1, 2, 3, 4 by The Plain White T's. He never could listen to it without thinking of Blaine. His eyes closed as he listened, and a crease formed between his eyebrows. He was determined to finish the song. Changing it meant giving up, and that was something Kurt swore he would never do. He relaxed visibly as the song ended, but not for long. A simple piano melody started playing into his ears, and tears filled his eyes when he recognized the song.

_You think I'm pretty, without any makeup on._  
_You think I'm funny, when I tell the punch line wrong._

"Kurt?" Rachel leaned over him, concerned.  
"Are you alright?" Worry creased her forehead as she looked at her friend.  
"Yes," Kurt responded quickly,  
"I'm fine. I just need to… Go to the bathroom…" Making good on his words, Kurt rose from his seat and moved towards the bathrooms, leaving his iPod on the chair. Rachel frowned, leaning over to see what he'd been listening to, and noticing the title of the song

_Teenage Dream (Acoustic) From Blaine to Kurt with love_

Her eyes welled up with the same tears Kurt had left to hastily to shed. Anger rose in her chest at the boy who had hurt her best friend so, who had dared cheat on him. Of course, she herself had cheated on Finn once before, but that had been completely different. She'd had an actual reason. Blaine was just… Being a sleaze.

* * *

The plane touched down on the ground, slowing to taxi into the gate and then finally coming to a standstill.  
"Thank you for flying with us today. Please remember to take all personal items off the plane with you. We hope you enjoyed your flight" The intercom interrupted Kurt's train of thought as he looked out at the same Lima sky he'd slept so many nights under. He and Rachel went through security and were out in the open air in under an hour. Kurt simply continued gazing around, feeling oddly detached. Nothing seemed real. No, nothing was real. Nothing had been real since Blaine had cheated, because that could never happen in the real world. It just wasn't possible. Unfathomable. Rachel stepped forward and hailed a taxi, shoving him slightly when he didn't move to get in. He sat down numbly in the worn leather backseat as Rachel spoke to the driver and gave him directions to her fathers' house, deciding that Kurt was in no condition to speak to Burt at present, so he would just have to stay with her and speak to his parents tomorrow.  
Twenty minutes later, the cab pulled up in front of a familiar blue house, and Rachel paid the driver for his services, then opened Kurt's door for him and pulled him out.  
"Come on," she said.  
"My dads are on vacation, but I know where they keep the spare key." Making good on her words, she reached into a flowerpot by the door and retrieved said key, unlocking the door and pulling Kurt inside. She half dragged him down the hall to the guest bedroom, which she knew was kept prepared at all times. She shoved Kurt gently on the bed.  
"Go to sleep Kurt. We're going to high school tomorrow." Rachel tucked him in and left the room, closing the door softly behind her and retreating down the hall to her own familiar pink bedroom, where he promptly collapsed on her own bed. And if there were tears stinging her eyes and leaking into her pillow as she stroked the teddy bear Finn had won her on senior ditch day? Well, it had been a difficult 24 hours.

* * *

"Mr. Schue!" Rachel raced to hug their old choir teacher as he emerged from his car in the parking lot, balancing a cup of coffee on the roof of his vehicle.  
"Rachel! What a surprise! And Ku-Kurt…" Mr. Schuester did a double-take when he saw the look on Kurt's face, but said nothing, obviously already aware of what had happened between him and Blaine.  
"You know what? It doesn't even matter why you're here! Come to the choir room, glee is first period this year!" Kurt smiled slightly at the enthusiasm of their old teacher, but it didn't reach his eyes. The teacher made to walk to the school and gestured for them to follow.  
"Come on! They'll be so excited to see you. Speaking of which, Rachel, you do know that Finn is here, right?" He inquired.  
"Yes, I'm aware of that," Rachel said crisply.

Together, the three strode down the familiar hallways to the room that they knew better than any other, finally approaching the door. Mr. Schue entered first and spoke to the club, the entirety of which was already sitting in the risers.  
"Guys, I know we took a trip down memory lane yesterday when an old friend came to visit-" He looked at Finn, who was sitting in the first row of risers next to Tina.  
"Well, today we welcome back two more old members—all the way from the city that never sleeps—Rachel and Kurt!" The two strode into the room, smiling at all their old friends, pretending to care. All the upperclassmen members of the club broke into whoops and cheers, smiling broadly as their friends entered their lives again for the first time in months.

Blue eyes met brown.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you all watched Glee last night.**

**I feel like Ryan Murphy punched me right in the feels.**

**OW.**

**Anyway, this is the product of my hyperactive imagination. Enjoy :)**

**DISCLAIMER- I don't own Glee or Fox or TV or whatever. If I did that would be awesome, because all that would air would be movies based on my favorite fanfics. Yum.**

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Finn spoke first, and Rachel turned to meet his gaze.

"Glad to know we're appreciated," she replies sarcastically, rolling her eyes for good measure. A cover story quickly formed in her mind, and she continued "We're actually here because we heard that Finn would be replacing Mr. Schue as choir director for a few months, and also co-directing Grease. As much as I respect your skills as a dancer, Finn" she paused to glare at him "I have been taking professional dancing classes at NYADA, and Kurt's here to help as a vocal coach, right Kurt?" Kurt had in fact not heard a word she said. His eyes were trapped in the prison of Blaine's hazel gaze, his face filled with obvious pain, looking for all the world like an abused puppy. As soon as Rachel said his name, the glee club turned to look at him, suddenly noticing the look on his face. Even Finn's facial expression softened to that of concern. "Kurt?" Rachel asked tentatively, touching his shoulder lightly and breaking the spell. He shook his head, clearing his mind, and looked up again, his face impassive, avoiding the hazel eyes which sought his so desperately.

"What? Oh! Ah, yes. Yes, I'm here as a vocal coach. Thought you might... like it. Excuse me a moment." He turned on his heel, sweeping out the door with a swish of his highly fashionable coat.

"Kurt!" Rachel threw a last glowering look at Blaine before rushing out the door after her best friend. Silence filled the room.

"Well," Finn spoke with venom, anger in his eyes that were boring into Blaine's. "I hope you're happy." With that, he too got up and left the room in pursuit of his brother.

Perhaps it was a good thing that Blaine was used to hiding his emotions, otherwise there would have been no way for him to remain calm and collected when all he wanted to do was sink to the ground and cry.

* * *

"Oh, god," Kurt sobbed onto Rachel's shoulder, leaning heavily on a desk in the empty classroom they were "Oh, god, Rachel did you see him? He was just sitting there. He didn't even care. I thought I meant something to him! I thought I was important, but he just looked... He looked _bored, _Rachel, he looked b-b-bored." With those words he collapsed into her arms, sobs racking his body as he shook silently, his ragged breathing being the only sound puncturing the room. "I can't do this Rachel. I'm sorry, but I can't. I know I said I would come here with you, but I can't stand this. I can't stand seeing him. I just can't do it."

"Yes, you can." Finn's voice broke into the classroom, and both Rachel and Kurt looked up at him. "C'mon, Kurt. Blaine's an ass. Who needs him? Certainly not you. You're one of the strongest men I've ever met, brother, and just because some preppy snob can't appreciate that, well... The rest of us see it." His words calmed Kurt down a little, and he hiccuped once, twice, a third time, and was silent.

"I thought he meant it, you know," He said quietly, pain causing his voice to quiver. "When he said he loved me. When he said he would always be there. I thought he was serious. I thought he would be there for me, like he promised."

"I'm sorry Kurt." Rachel cut in again, "I know that's exactly what you don't want to hear, but it's true. I thought he meant it, too. Hell, I think we all believed that boy was for real, but it just goes to show. Sometimes, life sucks, and there's nothing you can do about it. But you know what? Someday, you'll find someone. And he'll be even better than Blaine. He'll treat you right and cherish you like you deserve. Screw Blaine. You deserve better Kurt, and someday you'll get it. But him? He'll never find anyone who'll even come close to being as amazing as you are." Kurt smiled at her weakly, and Finn walked over to join in their group hug, both of them encircling Kurt in their support.

None of them heard the muffled cry as Blaine burst into tears and ran down the hallway from where he's been standing at the door.

* * *

For once, Blaine was glad that his parents were never home. They were away on yet another business trip as he flew up the grand staircase and into his bedroom, throwing his backpack aside before collapsing on the king sized bed, body shaking with silent sobs.

_His fault. All his fault. Kurt would hate him forever and it was all his fault._

Pain boiled deep inside his body, fogging his mind and clouding his senses. What had he done? How could he have hurt Kurt this way? Everyone hated him. Everyone knew that he was a jerk. He had no friends anymore. The Warblers hated him for abandoning them and the New Directions despised him for the way he'd treated Kurt.

Kurt.

Oh, god, _Kurt. _He needed him. More than anyone really understood. He craved the other boy's love and support and sought only to make him happy. He lived for the moments when they would touch, and felt fire dancing under his skin when they did. Nothing compared to the way he felt for him. Kurt was his everything. And without him, he'd been left... This. This empty husk of a person. He was nothing without Kurt, nothing without the relationship upon which his sanity rested.

Hours later, Blaine lay asleep, tangled up in his blankets. He dreamed of the boy he loved, and the memories they'd shared. He dreamed of the life he'd hoped to lead, and the person he'd longed to become. Alas, that was all they were.

Dreams.

* * *

The house lights in the April Rhodes auditorium are off, the stage lights at peak brightness. In the front row sit Artie, Rachel, Kurt, and Finn. Many students had auditioned for the musical this year, and Artie was confident that it would be their best show yet.

"Next!" Finn calls as Sugar struts off the stage after belting out her take on the _Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee_ Reprise, which was, in fact, completely and utterly awful. From the wings emerges Blaine, pacing towards the center of the stage, obviously totally aware of those who sit in the audience. Kurt gives a sharp intake of breath, and Rachel looks over to see his mouth in a tight line, pain flooding his eyes. The instrumental begins, and Rachel exchanges a stricken look with Kurt as they both recognize the melody._  
_

_Guess mine is not the first heart broken,  
my eyes are not the first to cry  
I'm not the first to know,  
there's just no gettin' over you_

Blaine sings the notes softly, emotion pouring out of every fiber of his being. He looks right at Kurt, obviously singing to him._  
_

_I know I'm just a fool who's willing  
to sit around __and wait for you_  
_But baby can't you see, there's nothin' else __for me to do  
I'm hopelessly devoted to you _  
_But now there's nowhere to hide, _  
_since you pushed my love aside  
I'm out of my head, _  
_hopelessly devoted to you_

Suddenly, Kurt stands up and paces purposefully to the entrance. The door slams behind him as he exits the auditorium, Rachel running after him. Blaine falters in his lyrics, and just stops, for once not trying to hide the emotions written all over his face. He turns to look at Artie and Finn, of which the latter is sitting in his seat with a stony expression on his face, obviously unsure how to react.

"Well," Artie begins, "That was... Amazing. I could tell you really meant it. Now, Blaine, I see you haven't specified what part you want. Let me tell you, I look at you, and I see Danny Zuko. You _are _Danny, even if you did audition with a Sandy song. The part's yours if you want it, so will you take it?"

"Im sorry Artie," Blaine shakes his head. "I don't think I can play a character in this classic romance when my own is falling apart."

"Well, is there any part you think you can play?"

"I don't know... Maybe teen angel, it's only one scene."

"Done, Blaine. Thanks for auditioning." Blaine recognizes the dismissal as such, and shoots one last fleeting look at Finn before exiting stage left.

* * *

Artie wheeled himself up to the bullatin board, a piece of paper sitting in his lap. He reached up and pinnet the sheet to the board, turned, and wheeled away, a confident smile playing on his lips as a crowd of students immidietly surrounded the cast list for Grease.

_Cast List:  
__Danny: Ryder  
__Sandy: Marley  
__Kenickie: Sam  
__Rizzo: Wade  
__Frenchy: Sugar  
__Patty Simcox: Kitty  
__Putzie: Jake  
__Doody: Joe  
__Teen Angel: Blaine  
__Cha-Cha: Brittany  
__Jan: Tina_

Blaine walks away from the board after confirming that he'd indeed gotten the part of teen angel, which he'd requested at his audition over an offer for Danny. As usual, his face betrays no emotion as he walks down the hall and turns the corner, heading for his next class.

* * *

Kurt walks through the McKinley hallway towards the auditorium, intending to check the sound system, which has been acting up during the last few Grease rehearsals. He opens the door to the balcony quietly, and notices immediately that the lights are on. Someone is here. A grande piano is positioned in the middle of the stage, the keys being softly played by none other than Blaine. Kurt leans against the balcony railing as he watches the boy, unable to see the tears streaming down his face from the distance, but still hearing the emotion in every word that leaves his mouth.

_You think I'm pretty, without any makeup on_,  
_You think I'm funny, when I tell the punch line wrong.  
I know you get me, so I let my walls come down.  
down_

Tears slip noiselessly down Kurt's face as he watches the boy at the piano. He longs to call out his name, but holds himself back, sitting back in a chair to watch him preform.

_Before you met me,I was alright, but_  
_Things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life, now_  
_Every February, you'll be my Valentine._  
_Valentine_

Kurt remembers walking through Dalton for the first time two years ago. Meeting the beautiful boy in the hallway, then watching him preform the lead with the school's show choir. He remembered meeting for coffee that first time with Wes and David, remembered asking them if they were all gay. They'd chuckled to themselves before Blaine responded that no, he was the only gay one.

_Let's go all_  
_The way tonight_  
_No regrets,_  
_Just love._  
_We can dance_  
_Until we die_  
_You and I_  
_Will be young forever_

Kurt remembered every moment of his relationship with Blaine, from that amazing first kiss, right up to that awful night a week ago. All the milestones they'd crossed and the moments they'd shared. All the troubles they'd worked through and the loving looks they'd exchanged. Love was a funny thing, Kurt realized. It was the most amazing thing when shared with another person who reciprocates one's feelings, but when the situation is different, it can be the most painful sensation in the world.

_Yo-_

Kurt looked up from his daydreaming as Blaine's voice broke on the note, a loud sob ripping through the auditorium as the tears flowed freely from his eyes. He lay down his head on the piano keys, crying for all he was worth, the noises of his weeping spreading throughout the auditorium and assaulting Kurt with a fresh onslaught of pain. He wanted nothing more than to rush down the steps and take the boy in his arms, to kiss away his tears and rock him until he was calm. He bit his lip, emotions battling within him, before turning and striding out of the auditorium, careful not to let the door slam behind him._  
_

* * *

It was opening night. Kurt looked out onto the stage from his place in the audience, excited to see the results of their hard work. The curtains opened, and the audience watched Marley and Ryder enact the summer scene, watching a sunset together on their last night before splitting for the school year.

"Danny, is this the end?"  
"No, Sandy. It's only the beginning."

Kurt felt his breath catch in his throat at that line, and quietly excused himself, telling Rachel he needed to use the bathroom. He headed down the hall, attempting to calm his breathing, and opened the door to the mens room, only to find Blaine washing his hands.

"Oh!" Kurt exclaimed, startled at finding someone in the bathroom during the show.

"Kurt! Um, hi..." Blaine couldn't help it. His eyes lit up with hope the moment Kurt walked into the room. Maybe now they could talk, he could apologize. "Listen, I think we should-" he was cut off by Finn opening the door, obviously surprised to find Kurt and Blaine together.

"Blaine, you're- wait, Kurt? What are you- you know what? Never mind. Blaine, you're on in five minutes. Hurry it up." With that, Finn shot them both a confused glance and left.

"I guess you should go..." Kurt motioned towards the door

"I guess so." Blaine started walking out, but was stopped by Kurt

"Wait! Um... Good luck out there..."

"Thanks Kurt," Blaine said, flashing him a genuine smile before walking back in the direction of the auditorium. Kurt sighed, and turned to the urinal in order to take care of his business quickly so as to not miss Blaine's performance.

* * *

Wow. Kurt leaned against his old locker in the hallway, reliving Blaine's amazing rendition of _Beauty School Dropout _in his head. It had been almost flawless. Almost. Except for that one moment when he glanced at Kurt for a split second and faltered. But just for a moment. Kurt had to give it to him-the guy was an amazing performer. There was no question of whether or not _he _would get into NYADA next year. Kurt chuckled bitterly to himself as he remembered all the plans they had made, for when they would live in New York together. That was over now. They would never make each other breakfast in the mornings, never ride the subway hand in hand. It seemed almost silly now, all those plans. But what Kurt wouldn't give to be able to live them.

"Kurt!" Blaine suddenly appeared at the end of the hallway. "Kurt, I've been looking for you. We need to talk."

"Frankly Blaine, I'm not interested," Kurt shot back and began to walk in the other direction, but Blaine ran to catch up with him.

"Please, I want to tell you what happened" He pleaded with his eyes, begging Kurt internally to let him have his say.

"What do you want to say? That it didn't mean anythi-

"It _didn't _mean anything!"

"That you only made out? Huh, Blaine?" Kurt held back tears as he snapped at Blaine, unable to take the pain any longer. "I don't care. Relationships are built on trust. And I don't trust you anymore." And with that, Kurt turned on his heel and walked away, without looking back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, so I went back and reread and realized that in chap. 2 I said Glee was ninth period, and in chap. 4 is said it was first. WOOPS. Sorry for the confusion, and I wanted to clarify that it's first period and I'm sorry about it. I'll try to avoid such mistakes in the future.**

**Forgive me, for I'm new to the world of fanfiction :)**

**Anyway, in this chapter we see Kurt's POV only (sorry Blainstans) I needed to show his sort of personal struggle. This is where the real plot starts guys, so get excited.**

**For those of you who don't know, I have a tumblr (hermy-writes) so you could check that out and awesomeness would result. I take questions about my fics there. I've also started two NEW fics, ****_Our Secret Place _****and ****_Just a Memory _****so if you want to go check those out, that would be awesome.**

**Please assume that the canon conversation between Rachel and Finn, as well as the phone call between Rachel and Cassandra actually happened.**

**WARNING- (almost) sexual encounter, gay sex references, crude language. And a rude bastard in case you can't handle those.**

**And now without futher ado, I give you- Broken Up Blaine Chapter Five!**

* * *

The plane ride back to New York was much more relaxed than the one to Lima had been. Rachel and Kurt talked, each having achieved some form of closure, Rachel by cutting things off with Finn, and Kurt by officially dumping Blaine and telling him how awful he'd made Kurt feel. The two chatted happily, each well on the way to moving on from the past and accepting the future.

Rachel sighed as she leaned onto Kurt's shoulder, looking out at the city far below them. They were almost at JFK airport, almost home. "I'm happy we went." She said quietly, voicing their mutual feelings on the trip to Lima. "I feel like now I can finally concentrate on NYADA. No more guys, no more drama. Just me, singing, dancing, and acting."

"You're not upset about Brody, then?" Kurt inquired, turning his head to look at his friend.

"Nope." Rachel responded with a half smile "He was a nice guy and an okay friend, but we haven't known each other for that long, and honestly, I couldn't see myself in a serious relationship with him. I hope he and Cassandra are happy. Maybe now she won't be so uptight. Maybe me and him can still be friends."

Kurt could tell from her facial expression that she spoke the truth. How far they'd come, he and her, from the people they'd been at McKinley. High School Rachel would never have forgiven Brody this easily, and High School Kurt would probably still be crying about Blaine. Instead, here they were, going back home to the most amazing city on earth. Her, to the best preforming arts school in the country, and He, to a fantastic internship at one of the most sought-after fashion names in the world. No, he decided, there was absolutely nothing wrong with their lives. They simply had to accept that the past was the past, and move on with their future. And, Kurt decided, he couldn't wait to see what the future had in store.

* * *

Kurt smiled at Isabelle as he walked to his desk at the office, handing her the coffee she'd asked for on the way. This really was the best job in the world, he thought to himself. Preforming arts were great, and they were still his dream, but right now, Vogue was a hell of a great reality. More reachable than NYADA had ever been, Kurt saw that if he decided to, he could rule the fashion world someday. He'd decided to stick with Vogue and do his best to advance in the next year, and audition for NYADA again in the spring. If he got in, well, he would decide then what to do. And if he didn't? Well, that was alright too. He had an excellent future ahead of him in fashion.

He spent the morning taking care of Isabelle's emails and phone calls, organizing her schedule for her, and then going for another meeting with her in the afternoon. They were becoming friends as well as colleagues, he and Isabelle, and they stayed late at work together to brainstorm new ideas, Kurt still in awe that she took the time to listen to him.

On the way to the subway, Kurt stopped at a sandwich stand to get dinner for himself and Rachel. Riding the subway home, he gave up his seat with a smile to an elderly woman, and she thanked him for his kindness. He walked into his building and took the elevator up to his and Rachel's floor, and unlocked their apartment with one hand, balancing the sandwiches with another. He opened the door and saw Rachel practicing a dance routine in the open space, and set his satchel down on the couch before sitting on the floor across from his friend to enjoy dinner. And it wasn't until his head hit the pillow that he realized he hadn't thought about Blaine all day.

* * *

"So, Kurt." Rachel walks into their kitchen the next morning as Kurt is brewing coffee

"Hmm?" He turns around and hands her a cup, throwing her a questioning look.

"There's this guy in my dance class, his name's Peter. Um, he's gay, so I, um, I figured since I couldn't date him, maybe you'd want to?" Rachel rushes through her words, blush heating her cheeks, avoiding Kurt's eyes as she talks. "He seems really nice, and I think you'd really like him, and I told him about you and he seems interested and-"

"Sure." Kurt sticks a spoon into his mug, stirring the brown liquid before adding some milk.

"Really?" Rachel's eyes look hopeful as she gazes at her friend.

"Yeah. I said I was done with Blaine, and I meant it. It could be nice to get back out into the dating world." Kurt smiles at her over the brim of his cup as he takes a long sip. He means what he says. Blaine was amazing, Kurt's first love. But Kurt wasn't a child anymore. Maybe what he had with Blaine wasn't as special as he thought it was. It's not like he had much basis for comparison, after all. Maybe it could be found again, with someone else. Hell, maybe he could find something even better.

"I'll set something up and let you know. This is going to be great, Kurt" Rachel reaches over and squeezes his hand, her face lighting up with happiness that her friend was taking her advice and moving on. Kurt and Blaine were done, of that she was sure. Maybe it was time for Kurt to find someone new to share his life with. Certainly no one deserved a romantic relationship more than sweet, loving Kurt.

* * *

Kurt waited outside the restaurant Rachel had told him to go to that Friday night, glancing at his watch. 7:15. He'd been supposed to meet Peter here at 7:00. A frown of distaste tainted his face as he considered the kind of guy who would show up late to a first date. _Blaine would never have behaved like that. He would have been here ten minutes early, ready to open the door and pull out a chair, the perfect gentleman._

A figure dressed in a dark green trenchcoat approached Kurt, coming to stand in front of him.

"Kurt?" The other man spoke first.

"Yeah, that's me," Kurt responded. "Peter, right"

"Yup," he said, "let's go in, then." He made an 'after you' gesture and Kurt got up and opened the door, holding it open for Peter, who strode in without a thank you. _Blaine would never have behaved like that. He would have thanked me for opening the door and apologized for being late._

As the dinner progressed, it became more and more clear to Kurt that Peter was not the kind of man he wanted to associate with. He interrupted Kurt frequently, and spoke with his mouth full. He even wiped his hands on the tablecloth, completely ignoring the cloth napkin set on the table for him. Kurt eyed him in distaste when he wasn't looking, and couldn't help but compare him to Blaine. Of the two, the latter was an infinitely better choice in Kurt's mind. Peter was rude, and obnoxious and... Annoying. It didn't take Kurt long to decide that there would be no second date. When they finished their main courses and Peter offered to share a Sundae for dessert, Kurt accepted, not wanting to be rude, and thinking that perhaps the date could still be revived. Alas, that was not the case, for when it arrived, Peter dug into the ice cream with gusto, imploring no manners what so ever, and putting Kurt off what little appetite he had left. When the bill finally arrived, they split it, and Kurt was glad that the nightmarish evening was coming to a close, but when they stepped out of the restaurant, Peter turned to Kurt.

"I had a lot of fun tonight," he said with a smile. Kurt decided against telling him about the large piece of spinach stuck between his teeth. "Would you like to take a walk through Central Park before going home? It's gorgeous this time of night." Once again, Kurt agreed out of courtesy. The other man led him through the well lit pathways paving the park, before turning into a secluded alcove concealed from the view of the paths by some bushes. "Sit down with me," he said, sitting on the grass and patting the area next to him. "The city is beautiful, isn't it?" He asked, looking up at the bright lights above them, a smile touching his features. Kurt sat next to him and leaned back to look as well.

He sighed. It really was beautiful, he decided in his mind. Kurt leaned back on his arms, closing his eyes for a moment, intending to cement the image of the city at night into his brain as a wonderful memory, but suddenly, Peter rolled on top of him, leaning down and pressing his lips to Kurt's.

"Wha-" Kurt yelped in surprise as Peter kept kissing him passionately, nearly choking him in his enthusiasm to get his tongue down Kurt's throat. He ran his hands down Kurt's sides, and Kurt shivered slightly in revulsion, causing Peter, who obviously though Kurt's shiver was that or arousal, to smile. He reached his hand down to Kurt's zipper, fumbling to get it open, but Kurt ripped his lips away from Peter's, escaping the prison of his mouth.

"No." He said firmly. "Get off me, I'm not interested." Kurt's eyes were angry, daring Peter to argue, which he did.

"Oh, c'mon, baby," Peter looked at Kurt, obviously confused at his lack of enthusiasm.

"I said get off me." Kurt pushed Peter off his body and stood up, glowering at the other man as Peter did the same.

"Tease." Peter spat the word in Kurt's face before pacing off into the night, leaving Kurt standing in the clearing.

* * *

Kurt knew that he shouldn't be walking in Central Park alone at night, but continued doing so despite his better judgement. He walked slowly down the deserted path, a blank look on his face, reliving what had happened with Peter. He couldn't stop thinking about what had almost happened, what the other man had tried to do. How awful would it have been, if Kurt had allowed Peter to touch him... _there? _Only one other person had ever had their hand down Kurt's pants, and it had been someone he loved unconditionally. What sort of respect would he be paying himself if he let some stranger take away his... His _purity, _just for the sake of getting off? Of course, Blaine hadn't paid himself or Kurt that respect, but then, look where it'd gotten him. No, Kurt decided, that area of his body was reserved exclusively for himself and those he was truly in love with. He wasn't some cheap whore.

He looked ahead of himself, squinting in the moonlight, expresion steeled with his new decision. Out of nowhere, a sob ripped through the night. Kurt's ears pricked forward at the sound, and he looked around for the source, before spotting it-a man sitting on a bench not three yards away. Before he knew what he was doing, Kurt walked over to the other man, and placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up in confusion, tear filled eyes looking into Kurt's. The familiar blue eyes and blond hair made Kurt gasp in sudden recognition.

"Kurt?" The man asked tentatively.

"Chandler?" Kurt responded in disbelief


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok, who's ready for organized Hermy? I love organized Hermy. Organized Hermy has a nice pink three subject spiral, where she has mapped out the fic up to about chapter 12 or so... I'm not sure how long I can keep morally torturing Blainers, because he's my baby and I love him. There is a whole plot line that needs to play out for another 5 chapters or so, then I'll decide how to keep abusing my baby... Also, not sure if they'll even get back together at the moment, but provided they do, I need to decide if I want to continue the fic past that first make up kiss stage (right now I'm thinking an epilogue)**

**Anyway, Organization. Yay.**

**So please enjoy the angst that lives in my mind.**

**Because I'm sadistic and cruel, yeah.**

**Love you all to death and beyond :)**

**Reviews=Hugs and I'm a cuddlewhore**

**DISCLAIMER- Anything Glee related is not mine. Anything not Glee related is**

**TRIGGER WARNING-hints of depression, but no blunt actions. Read at your own risk.**

* * *

Chapter 6

Blaine walks through the hallway, heading for first period glee. He stops at his locker and shrugs off the majority of his books, knowing he won't need them until after lunch. He ignores the noise surrounding him, focusing instead on the various pictures of him and Kurt pasted in his locker. There's one of them at Kurt's junior prom, with Kurt wearing a crown and holding a scepter, smiling hugely, as Blaine wraps his arm around the other boy's waist, gazing at him with a light smile that only Kurt could induce. Then there's the one from Kurt's senior prom, where they both sit on a dinosaur. Kurt laughs crazily from his vantage point beyond Blaine's wild frizzy 'fro, grasping one of his hands tightly as Blaine rests his other hand on Kurt's thigh. Both pictures of casual intimacy, both snapshots of perfect moments cemented in Blaine's mind. Both occurrences that will never be repeated.

Time, Blaine realizes, does not heal all wounds. It simply dulls the pain of festering hurts, infecting the injured with a cold numbness. Numbness. Yes, that was a good word for Blaine. He moves through his days without feeling, lest the intense agony of his situation with Kurt breach his consciousness. He no longer sang in glee club, no longer raised his hand to participate in class. His movements were completely automatic, almost bordering on robotic, and he wore a constant expression of dull pain. Such a change in a boy who used to be lively and happy. He was certain that if anyone from his past saw him now, they wouldn't recognize him. Even Kurt wouldn't know who he was now. Of course, Blaine himself wasn't sure who he was. Pre-cheating Blaine, the good, nice, caring boyfriend Blaine-He would never have done what modern day Blaine had. Of course, he did. So who was this Blaine? Who was this empty husk of a person wandering through the halls of Mckinley high school with a blank expression on his face and sadness in his eyes. He didn't know.

Tina Cohen-Chang had never been very close friends with Blaine. She resented him more than a bit for showing up Junior year and shoving her even father into the sidelines with his damn talent. Now, she downright despised him for hurting Kurt. Her friend Kurt, who had shared in the unfairness that was the shadows and yet still managed to make it out of this stupid town and try to live his dreams. Kurt, who had been nothing but the perfect boyfriend to Blaine whenever she saw the two. Kurt didn't deserve him. And now, after Blaine had committed his own treachery, he still walked down the halls like a kicked puppy. As if he had the right to be upset, when he had caused the break-up himself, with his own idiotic actions.

"And he was so cute last year, too." Tina turned with a start as Sugar responded, suddenly realizing that she'd voiced her thoughts aloud. "Oh! Look, there he is now." Indeed, Blaine himself was walking down the hallway towards the two girls, wearing the same expression he'd had since the break-up.

An idea lighted in Tina's mind and she gave a brief, slightly malicious smile. "Sugar, did you know what I heard from Rachel?"

"Hm?" Sugar looked at her asian friend, an expression of confusion crossing her features.

"Well, she mentioned that Kurt-" at the mention of his ex's name, Blaine stopped in the middle of the hallway, ears pricking up almost comically. Tina pretended not to notice. "Yes, Kurt went on a date last night with some guy from Rachel's classes. She said he came home _late._" Putting extra emphasis on the last word, Tina winked at Sugar, implication heavy in the air.

Sugar laughed, giving her friend a knowing smile. "I'll bet he was. Kurt's in New York now, city of the gays. People are going to start noticing how hot he is, and he's going to be getting a _lot_ more attention."

"Of course he is," Tina responded with a slight laugh of her own "Just because the resident gays in Ohio couldn't _appriciate _him-" she threw Blaine a dirty look, "Doesn't mean the New Yorkers won't." And with that, both girls laughed once more, linked arms, and walked off to class, leaving Blaine alone among the rush of other students, still standing in the middle of the hallway with his books clutched to his chest, but with an entirely new expression on his face.

* * *

For Blaine, the day passes in a daze. One moment, he's sitting down in the corner of the choir room for glee, and the next, he's headed for lunch. Before he know's it, Chemistry is over and he's dismissed for the day. He's walking to his locker when the thought finally hits him. He and Kurt aren't together anymore. They're broken up. Kurt's going to be seeing new people now, and Blaine won't be able to do anything about it. Sugar was right. Just because the men in Ohio didn't realize how attractive Kurt was, sure as hell didn't mean that the New Yorkers wouldn't. Obviously, at least one of them had. Blaine wondered if Kurt had kissed him. Wondered if he'd gone any farther than kissing even. Wondered if- No. That wasn't something Blaine was capable of imagining. That part of Kurt was his, and that part of him was Kurt's. Sex was something they'd only given each other, the concept of someone else becoming that... Intimate, with _his _Kurt, was a completely foreign concept. Of course, Kurt probably still thought that Blaine had slept with Eli. Which he most certainly _hadn't_. God. Kurt was over him. He was nothing-absolutely nothing to the man he'd loved for two years. Everything they'd shared, all the memories they'd collected-gone now. God. He needed to box._  
_

The workout gym at Mckinley had become something of a refuge for Blaine. His own sheltered haven, where no one he knew ever frequented, and there were no looks of judgement or whispers of disgust. He strode through the locker room, shedding his shirt and changing into an old tank top that he used specifically for this purpose. He grabbed his gloves, and made to enter the room, when he heard voices.

"Bet you can't beat sixty." Jake. He was talking to Ryder as they both gazed at a bench press that Jake had just vacated, obviously challenging each other on the various workout machines.

"Five bucks says I can." Ryder grinned at his new friend before dropping to the press, lifting his arms to the bar and preparing to lift it from the rack. Blaine turned on his heel and walked back into the locker room.

No boxing then. Alright. Blaine bit his lower lip, worrying it between his lips as he exited the locker room, once again walking through the halls of Mckinley. Although this time, they were empty. Or maybe not so empty.

"Blaine!" Upon hearing his name being called, Blaine turned abruptly to face the speaker. Marley. "Hey," she says, slightly out of breath from running to catch up with the boy. "Are you alright?"

It's all Blaine can do to not stare incredulously at her. Did he _look _okay? Was she seriously that out of the loop? Obviously so. "Fine," he responds, slightly gruffly, making as if to bypass her and continue walking, but her arm shoots out and grabs his wrist. Without thinking, Blaine immediately twists his arm and pulls it back towards his body, yanking it out of the girl's grasp.

"O-Oh." She says, obviously a tad hurt and confused.

"I''m sorry." He mutters, almost to himself.

"I was just wondering... You know, if you like to maybe to to coffee with me? Um, maybe at the Lima Bean?" This time, Blaine did stare. Coffee? Was she crazy. Coffee was _their _thing. His and Kurt's. And the Lima Bean was _their _place. Blaine went there alone, a few times a week, to sit in his own puddle of memories and dwell on his past. Sitting in that coffee shop, with someone who wasn't Kurt, talking about something that wasn't Kurt? Unthinkable.

"Sorry, can't. I've got to go. Homework." Each sentence he utters is short. Clipped tones and a toneless voice assalt Marley, causing her to flinch as Blaine pushes past her, walking quickly through the hall and out the door.

* * *

Blaine wonders, as he pulls onto his street in his sleek silver Lexus, what it's like to have a family like Kurt's. What it's like to have a father that accepts him, and a mother who cares about more than just social events. Of course, Kurt didn't really have a mother, but he had Carole, which was more than Blaine could say for himself. Blaine pulls into the long driveway, parking his car in the massive garage and hanging up his keys as he enters the luxurious parlor that is completely and utterly useless, just like the two others exactly like it. For once, his parents are home when he arrives. His mother, cooking dinner as his father works on something vaguely lawyer-esque in his office. Blaine can't say he has any idea what that man really does for a living beyond the broad description of "lawyer." Obviously, it's enough to keep them in their living conditions. His parents acted as a team-his father, the provider, traveling across the country to represent influential people who got themselves into trouble, and his mother, the caregiver, following him in his travels, always the dutiful, obedient wife. And then, there was Blaine. Shunned by both for his sexuality and fascination for Music and Musical Theatre, he remained alone in the vast house most of the time, living off his plentiful allowance and well-stocked bank account. Of course, most of the time was not all of the time. And on this day, when he had just received even _more _awful news, they were home. And expecting him for dinner. Fabulous. As if he didn't have enough on his mind right now.

"Sheila, would you pass me the brisket, please?" Blaine's father, Robert Anderson, was as stiff and formal around his dinner table as he was at the office-which is to say, very stiff and formal.

"Certainly." Blaine's mother's own clipped tones were about as emotional as his fathers. The three Andersons sat in the formal dining room. Robert at the head of the table, and Sheila to his left. To Robert's right was the chair Cooper occupied when he visited. Blaine sat by his mother.

"What colleges have you applied to, Blaine?" As was customary for Robert, no lead-up was given to his abrupt question. Simple, blunt, and right to the point, much like the man himself.

"Well, there's NYADA, NYU, UCL-"

Robert cut him off before he could finish. "Don't speak in acronyms, boy. Tell me the schools you've applied to!"

"Um, I've applied to the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts, New York University, the University of California Los Angeles, and Juliard.

"Boy, I heard exactly one school on that list of yours that I'm familiar with, and that's Juliard. What about Harvard, Yale, and Princeton, hm? What about the _proper _schools?"

"Dad, we've been over this. I'm not interested in pursuing a business career, or becoming a lawyer like you. I want to go into music, be on broadway, act on a-"

"NONSENSE!" Robert thundered, interrupting his son once again. "I will not have my son try to make a _profession _of those _parlor_ _tricks_! You may apply to those schools, there's no harm in that, but you will also apply to the _right _ones, so that when you finally wake up from your delusions, you can pursue a _proper _life!"

"Dad, I've told you! I don't _want _to do any of those things! I want to be an actor, a singer. Not some business man who spends all day in a starched suit! Cooper is an actor in Hollywood! You don't seem to have any problems with _him_!" At this point, both men were yelling at each other across the table. Sheila continued to chew delicately at her salad. Such spectacles were not uncommon at the Anderson family dinner table.

"Cooper is _talented, _Blaine! Cooper has made something of himself. You, however, need to wake up and smell the roses because what he's got, you _don't!_" Maliciousness spiked Robert's words as he shouted at his son, who froze, sitting completely still, before grabbing his cloth napkin from his lap, tossing it in his bowl, and storming out of the room in a fashion that would have made Rachel Berry proud. You know, if she hadn't hated him. "Blaine Anderson!" Robert yelled down the hall after his son. "You cannot simply get up and leave like a petulant child! Get your ass back in this room!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Mmm I'm really excited for this chapter. This is where the actual plot starts happening :)**

**I've got to apologize for my rather infrequent posting, finals are approaching and we're teching a show in stage crew (Yes, I'm in stage crew because I'm not talented enough for the stage)**

**If any of you are following any of my other stories, then first off a massive apology for the lack of development in OSP and JAM, those should be updated sometime soon... Not sure when, sorry. And BILY should update sometime in the next two weeks.**

**DISCLAIMER- I don't own anything. Not Blaine, not Kurt, not Chandler, and not Seb. Not Glee, either. SAD. What? Seb? Yes, Seb. Have fun with that tidbit.**

**TRIGGER WARNING- hints of depression and vague, vague hints of suicidal thoughts. Those will be developing farther with each chapter. Again, nothing blunt.**

* * *

Chapter 7

Blaine tosses and turns in his king-sized bed, sleeping restlessly. Nightmares plague his subconscious and haunt his dreams. Moonlight filters into the room through a large window, illuminating the luxurious furnishings. The bed is mounted on a dais in the center of the room. A couch and coffee table sit in one of the corners, beside a television. A school desk is populated with mounds of papers and a shiny laptop computer. Pictures, posters, and song lyrics cover three of the walls. The third has two doors, leading to a private bathroom and a walk-in closet. Truly, the room would be a source of envy for almost any teenager. Pity that Blaine Anderson is not an average teenager. He rolls over in his bed, whimpering slightly, as if in pain. Behind his closed eyelids, a scene plays out.

_Kurt stands in front of him, staring blankly ahead. Fog surrounds the two, and shadow shrouds them in darkness. Blaine reaches forward with his arm, making as if to touch Kurt. To feel him, to confirm that he exists. Only cold, damp air meets his questing fingers. Fear surges through him, and he attempts again to reach his beloved, desperation growing within him._

_"Kurt!" He yells, the sound ripping from his throat before he can contain it. "Please!"_

_Kurt's eyes flicker, as if finally registering the boy standing before him. Recognition dawns on his face, followed by pure hatred. This, if anything, is worse._

_"You," he says, voice harsh and cold._

_"Kurt, please! It's me, it's Blaine!" Blaine feels the pain growing within him. The utter agony of rejection._

_"Blaine." Kurt says, as if contemplating the name. Pain floods his eyes, replacing the anger. "You hurt me, Blaine."_

_"Kurt, I-"_

_"What are you doing here, Blaine?" Kurt asks, sounding so much like the real Kurt that Blaine falls to his knees on the damp ground, sobbing violently into his hands._

_"I love you! I miss you! Please Kurt, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Once again, he reaches out an arm to touch the boy in front of him. This time, though, his fingers brush against smooth skin before that, too is yanked out of his grasp. Kurt sneers down at him, disgust written all over his face._

_"No." He states coldly. "You ruined me. You ruined us. It's your fault, all yours." His words fly out and attack Blaine, stabbing him with their harshness and making him howl out in pain. Kurt turns and walks away, slowly being swallowed by the shadows as he leaves Blaine crouched in the dirt, tears streaming down his face as he moans his emotional anguish. No one hears._

_"My fault, my fault," he says, rolling into the fetal position and clutching his knees close to his chest. There is nothing left now. Nothing without Kurt. "My fault."_

* * *

Exhaustion weighs down Blaine's movements throughout the school day. His eyelids are heavy, constantly dragging down to hide his hazel eyes and obscuring his vision. Dark circles are painted on his face, giving him an almost comical resemblance to a raccoon. His limbs feel like lead, and fog clouds his mind, making his usual quick reactions slow and sluggish. When he first woke up and saw his face in the mirror, he feared that his ex friends and fellow glee clubbers would notice that something was amiss, and inquire about it. It seemed though, that his worries were unneeded. Everyone noticed, he could tell. It was just that no one said anything. At least, not to his face. He may have been tired, but he hadn't missed the stares or the whispered conversations that followed him through the hallways. The realization dawned upon him, during his walk to the parking lot at the end of the day, that quite simply, no one cared anymore. Kurt had cared. Kurt would've fussed over him and insisted he rest. However, as even his subconscious thought necessary to remind him, Kurt was no longer here. Literally, or figuratively.

Blaine walked slowly to his car, debating a quick stop by the Lima Bean for a caffeine pick-me-up before he had to go home and do his homework. In the end, his need for a coffee boast won out, and he walked into the small shop that he'd come to know so well in the last two years, taking care to keep his eyes from wandering to _their _table. He approached the cheerful barista at the cash register, trying not to envision Kurt in the barista's apron as he'd been in the beginning of the year and failing miserably. A pang shot through his chest as he gazed around. Coming here had been a mistake. The place held too many memories he wasn't ready to look past.

He was standing by the counter, waiting for his medium drip, when he felt a light touch on his shoulder and turned immediately to see who it was.

"Blaine!" Wes said, with a massive grin that threatened to split his head in two. "Oh, my god. We haven't seen you in forever! Do come sit with us, won't you? We've missed you so much."

A fake smile seemed so natural and easy to come by these days, Blaine speculated as he felt his lips stretch in return to Wes's proposition.

"Of course!" He responded, turning to look where Wes was gesturing and seeing David, Thad, and Nick, three more of his Dalton friends, sitting at a round table. "Just let me grab my coffee." Making good on his word, he turned back to the counter and took his drink, thanking the barista before continuing with Wes towards the round table.

"Blaine, you dog, it's been so long!" David crowed, the second he'd sat down. "How's public school treating you? Better be pretty good, as you seem to have completely lost touch with your former best friends."

Blaine's eyes shot up in alarm, thinking for a moment that David was actually angry with him. His fear was dispelled when he saw the twinkle in his friend's eyes and Nick chortled and slapped him on the back.

"Been busy," he responded, lips once again slipping into the easy, fake smile he often wore. "Started senior year, won class president… Did you know I'm top of the class now?"

"Jeez!" Said Thad, speaking up for the first time. "Damnit Blaine, you put the rest of us to shame. Class president! You and David here should talk foreign relations."

"David?" Blaine asked, triangular eyebrows furrowing in genuine confusion as he looked at his senior friend.

"He's president too," Nick supplied. "Beat out Wes here by three percent." He nudged Wes, who scowled in mock indignation.

Thad leaned over to Blaine and whispered loudly into his ear, obviously intended for the others to hear "He couldn't get the warblers to vote for him, we've seen how he acts with power when he's on the council." He smirked at Wes, who blushed a deep scarlet, but didn't deny his words. "Isn't that right, mister don't touch my gavel?"

"Oh shut up, won't you?" Wes asked, playing exasperated and throwing an unopened sugar packet at Thad, who held up his arms and practically squealed.

"Help! Attack!"

All five of the boys burst into raucous laughter, earning themselves several glares from other customers. They were quickly silenced by a warning look from the barista.

"Really, though, Blaine, we need to see you more often. You should swing by Dalton sometime," David proposed.

"Maybe," Blaine said hesitantly. If he returned to his safe haven, with all his friends, there was no way he'd ever want to leave.

"No," Nick stated, "not maybe. Tomorrow. There's nothing pressing we need to work on in warblers practice. We all miss you so much. Just stop by and say hi to everyone, okay?"

"Alright," Blaine conceded, grinning genuinely for the first time that afternoon without even noticing. "I guess I could come hang out with you guys. God knows McKinley homework doesn't exactly require all my attention."

"Awesome," David agreed, flashing the same diplomatic smile he used when settling an argument in Warblers practice.

"Well, we've got to run," Thad said, glancing at his watch. "You will stop by tomorrow, right?"

"Of course," Blaine responded, knowing his words were true.

"Excellent. See you then, Blaine. It was so nice running into you."

"You too, guys. Bye."

And with that, the four prep school boys got up and left the small coffee shop, leaving Blaine sipping at his drink which had long since gone cold. He got up and tossed the remains of his coffee in the trash, suddenly feeling a lot more wide awake than he had earlier.

On the way back to his car, Blaine suddenly looks up, right into the eyes of Finn, who had apparently just arrived with Sam. Both were glaring at Blaine with identical looks of utter disgust. Their facial expressions reminded Blaine of the Kurt he'd seen in his dream last night, the one who'd showed no emotion barring utter hatred. Without thinking, he shrank into himself slightly, crossing his arms over his chest and hunching his shoulders. Both of the other boys simply turned their gazes to the shop and walked inside, leaving Blaine alone in the parking lot. He went to his car.

* * *

As usual, the house is empty when Blaine enters. His parents are gone, probably on another one of those business trips they seem so fond of. He hasn't spoken to either of them since last nights dinner debacle, and probably won't speak to them again until they return from their current trip, which could take anywhere from four days to two weeks. He wouldn't put it past them to simply leave him alone for weeks on end without so much as a note of explanation—they'd done it before. Luckily for him, cooking and other household chores were things he'd mastered long ago, and his debit card was seemingly never ending, so he didn't want for much. Except company, of course.

He strode into the grand (and useless) foyer and deposited his keys on the hook before continuing to the kitchen. He opened the massive fridge and stared at the shelves of food. Nothing in particular jumped out at him. Eventually, he took a loaf of whole wheat bread and some cheddar cheese to make a grilled cheese sandwich. He powered up the panini maker and slid in his modest creation, closing the lid and settling in a chair to wait for the machine to ding, indicating his sandwich was ready. He remembered a story Kurt had told him once about Finn, and how he'd somehow imprinted the image of Jesus into a sandwich and called it grilled cheesus. When Kurt had originally told the story, it had been with much eye rolling and sarcastic jabs at Finn's intelligence, which had in turn prompted a great deal of laughter from Blaine. Now, though, the story failed to even bring a smile to his lips. All it did, really, was make him think about Kurt. Of course, everything made him think about Kurt; it wasn't exactly an unusual occurrence.

The panini maker dinged, and Blaine got up to put his toasted sandwich on a plate. He set it at the table as sat down, staring at it, appetite suddenly gone. After a while, he decided to just take it up to his room and eat it if he got hungry.

He strode up the steps to his room, passing magnificent decorations and paintings that he didn't even look twice at anymore. Upon entering, he sat down at his desk and pulled out his homework to begin working.

A scant hour later, he was done with his work. Blaine stood up to go to the bathroom when something caught his eye. He turned to face the object of interest, and found that it was himself, reflected back via the full-length mirror on his wall. He stopped, raking his eyes up and down his own body, his face winkling in the same expression of disgust that he'd already seen so many times today.

He lifted his shirt, grimacing at the sight of his slight belly before dropping it back down. A quick resolution was made to work out more. He glanced up at his face, and immediately wished he hadn't.

His eyes appeared sunken, the usually vibrant hazel rendered dull and lifeless by recent events. Dark purple shadows colored around them, making him look haunted. His face appeared pinched somehow, his eyebrows were less triangular. Even his lips looked chapped and more yellow than pink. He dropped his gaze to the floor, staring at his shoes. How could he expect Kurt to love someone like him? Perfect, lovely, wonderful, beautiful Kurt, with his piercing blue eyes that crinkled when he laughed and his adorable nose that scrunched when Blaine tapped it playfully. Kurt deserved better than him, he'd always known that. Maybe it was time he accepted it and moved on. It was selfish of him to try to hold Kurt down when he could have done so much better than Blaine. He didn't blame Kurt for trying to distance himself from the person in the mirror. And how had he responded? He'd cheated. God, Blaine thought, he really was an awful person, wasn't he?

Of course, there was no one there to answer his speculations.


End file.
